I’ve been exploring the need for greater resilience in my life the past six months or so, and of course Covid-19 comes along and shines a spotlight on the lack of resilience in my income. Unfortunately there are many of us who do not currently have the finances to weather a storm such as this.
But it’s not only at a personal level that Covid-19 has exposed weaknesses and a lack of resilience, but in wider society too – our economies, health systems, food supply chains, social security, our disaster preparedness and much more. We have created and sustained a system that fails spectacularly outside of very limited parameters for far too long.
What is true of society is true of our individual lives. We have become complacent in the face of daily injustices and struggles – our own and those of others less fortunate than ourselves. We must strive for more and for better. This starts with ourselves, and requires us all to build greater emotional and financial resilience into our lives.
I’m still exploring how best I can do this for myself, so I don’t yet have the keys to success in my hand. I do know however, that certain things are helping me to take steps towards a better version of me – a more resilient version of me. These are practices such as meditation – not using a mantra or music to help sooth my mind, but by sitting there and coming ‘face-to-face’ with my inner self, and engaging with the different aspects of my self that get obscured by the noise of everyday life and thoughts.
I’ve been meditating for 30 mins every morning for some time now, but recently – thanks in part to all the time I am currently spending at home – decided to sit for 60 mins at weekends. Just doing this two or three times has been enough to dramatically alter my overall meditation experience. For a start it becomes a lot more physical, with waves of actual physiological responses to sitting crosslegged and a lack of movement, and as a result highlighting my response to the impact of such stresses, which are not too dissimilar to when we are angered, fearful or distressed.
Beyond managing my responses to what’s happening with my body, I am also having an internal battle with myself about sitting for an entire hour – managing the urge to move, to open my eyes, to stretch my back or neck, and various other reprises from sitting with myself and facing the challenge of managing my responses. It sounds a little torturous, but just lasting the distance and dealing with everything that surfaced during two or three sessions, and what feels like a maturation of my practice, has brought with it a greater ability to have a meaningful internal dialogue between my emotional self and my rational self when thoughts and memories do pop into my head. It also allows me to clear my mind with greater ease and for longer periods than ever before.
But the maturing process shouldn’t and cannot stop there – I must sustain that same internal dialogue and management of emotions and reactionary behaviour to my everyday life. By doing so I will start to build greater emotional resilience, and be more able to respond constructively to the challenges I face – both internal and external – on a daily basis.
I’m starting to note down the things that arise during my meditation directly afterwards in a journal, where I explore them further – both immediately and later in the day or week, thereby helping to capitalise on the realisations that arise during every session. I then review all this once a week. I feel like this is the only way I can really learn from that which arises, and integrate the newfound knowledge into how I engage with the world and myself.
To build physical resilience I do some yoga each morning – 4 salutations to the sun – and exercise in some form every day, which I’m sure also contributes positively to improved emotional resilience.
I also take a 5-minute cold shower and introduced a breathing exercise – both promoted by Wim Hoff, and both have had a positive impact on me. I can’t quite put my finger on how exactly, and it’s hard to believe that simply taking a cold shower and breathing a particular way for 15 minutes would have any meaningful impact, but having carried them out consistently for a few months now, I feel like both these practices have somehow helped me gain focus and appreciate the merit of what I’m trying to achieve.
A challenge to obtaining lasting resilience though – to truly be resilient – you also need to learn how to be adaptable. Rigidity in the way we approach life is not sustainable – a certain single-mindedness applied effectively might get you so far, but in such a dynamic period of time, which is likely to only get more unstable and uncertain, it’s not enough to ensure and maintain resilience.
In times like this, this is where financial resilience really becomes one of the biggest factors – if you can’t afford to buy food and pay the bills while in lockdown, and do so for an unknown number of weeks or months, then all your time, energy and resources will be used to firefight, to both survive and limit any damage, rather than build upon what you managed to create up to things going to shit.
But to achieve financial resilience I believe we first need to make progress in building a resilient self – one that is better able to navigate the challenges of every day life, while also progressing along the right path. By doing so we are more likely to know ourselves – to know what the right path is – and to have the resources necessary to create the environment we need to thrive.
I’m still at the beginning of my journey to finding resilience, but I’m confident with all the tools and experience I have at hand, I have all I need to succeed.